Tiger, Shaq and Phelps

Tiger, Shaq and Phelps

Tiger: I can see why you knocked out that Gosselin guy.
Shaq: Yea ha ha......Dude was about to hit on my cousin.
Phelps: Who’s this you guys are talking about?
Tiger: Ah nothing Mike. So you guys ready to shoot around of golf. Looks like a great day to golf!! Glad we’re out here on this great golf course!!
Shaq: So Phelps you’re gonna be okay to be race in a couple of weeks after that car accident?
Phelps: I’ll have those 10 pound anchors tied to both my arms and legs and still beat you.
Shaq: You see Tiger……………… Phelps and I like to talk up some friendly smack leading up to our swim race on my new reality show, Shaq Versus.
Tiger: Oh yea, that’s right how’s that going?
Shaq: It’s going well……
Phelps: Tiger, Shaq, watch this drive.

WHACK!!

Shaq: Wow, how far did that go? Like 30 yards or so? That’s almost as far as my 55 year aunt hits it…….
Phelps: Okay so it was a bad drive.
Shaq: I’m going to beat you today like you stole something Phelps.
Phelps: Maybe back in the 1930s when you were born that sort of practice was accepted, however, today that is just considered politically incorrect……..And Shaq, after I destroy you in the pool in a couple of weeks maybe we can have a real Shaq Versus challenge, where I compete against you in a free throw shooting competition.
Shaq: Oh sounds like you just upped the ante on our smack talk now.
Phelps: So Shaq how are we supposed to race in a couple of weeks when you haven’t even learned to tread water?
Shaq: Phelps, I’m not even going to answer that one………..Just watch and see how a real golfer does it?

WHACK!!

Tiger: Wow, I’m looking around and don’t see any real golfers out here…….Ha ha just messing with you guys.
Shaq: Okay okay so that was a bad drive.
Phelps: Yea it went into the pond…….I’d suggest you go in there and retrieve your ball but I’m afraid we’d need a lifeguard to be on duty.
Shaq: Well Phelps since you are so good at driving your SUV into things maybe you can drive it into the pond a few times so it splashes out all the water……That way I can retrieve my ball.
Phelps: Oh yea, or maybe I should just drive it into your big 370 pound mouth so you stop talking so much sh%t.
Shaq: Phelps, you must be high on something to be talking to me like that!!
Phelps: Don’t you ever bring up that……
Tiger: Guys guys just calm down………Remember what you guys said earlier? Friendly smack talk, right?
Tiger: Right?! Shaq?? Mike??
Shaq: Yea, Tiger is right…….My bad Phelps.
Phelps: It’s cool Shaq……….How about we just lay off the smack talk between us today then.
Shaq: Yea that’s cool with me………..But are you guys cool with talking some sh%t about Kobe?