Jon Gosselin, Tiger Woods and Michael Lohan

Jon Gosselin and Michael Lohan hanging out with Tiger Woods on the Golf Course.

Gosselin: Wow that waitress over there has an amazing body!!
Lohan: Can’t argue with you there buddy.
Woods: Hey so you guys ready to golf?
Lohan: Yea Tiger!.......So Jon how’d you manage to get us an hour of Tiger Wood’s time here on the golf course?
Gosselin: Well when you are a big reality TV star that’s the perks you get…….
Woods: I guess the network felt bad about what happened when you hung out with Bosh and Shaq last time so they wanted to make it up to you.
Lohan: What?! Oh when you slipped and fell into the bar stool and got that nasty black eye?
Gosselin: Yea that’s right.
Woods: More like slipped and fell into a knuckle sandwich from Shaq.
Lohan: What?! Is this true?
Gosselin: Ah……..eh…….let’s do some golfing shall we?
Lohan: No way!! So it was Shaq who did that!!......Why didn’t you tell me, I would’ve……
Woods: You would’ve done what?
Lohan: Well, I would’ve defended my buddy here.
Woods: No offense what are YOU going to do against Shaq?
Lohan: Look Tiger, I know you’re in a bad mood because of what happened at the PGA Championship........ Which also was the last major of the year, but why don’t you……..
Gosselin: Hey guys guys…….Let’s just do some golfing now shall we.
Woods: Why would I be in a bad mood, I finished 2nd?!
Lohan: Well you finished second to the 150th ranked player in the world………
Woods: He was ranked 110th in the world. What’s your point?
Lohan: That means that you’re not even as good as the 110th player in the world.
Gosselin: Guys guys……..We’re here to golf not to argue.
Lohan: Oh me and Tiger weren’t arguing we were just have a loud discussion about matters that we don’t see eye to eye on.
Woods: Sure if you say so.
Gosselin: Alright so who’s first up? Why don’t you show us how it’s done Tiger?
Woods: Alright boys.

Whack!!

Gosselin: Wow that was great shot Tiger!! How far did you drive that?
Woods: Thanks man……That went about 320 yards!!
Lohan: If only…….
Woods: You were gonna say something Michael?
Lohan: Nah never mind.
Gosselin: Whoa look over there who’s that hot blondie?!
Lohan: Maybe she’s a fan of your show Jon, wave her over here!!
Woods: Guys calm down!! That’s my wife!!
Gosselin: So you think she is a fan of my show!
Woods: Again she’s my wife so lay off!!
Lohan: Oh no we’re not going to hit on your wife but maybe she has a hot cousin or single friends that would like to go out with two Hollywood Stars!
Gosselin: Yea beautiful women love Hollywood Stars!
Woods: Now please tell me who are the Stars that you are referring to?
Lohan: Jon and I of course!!
Woods: The only stars I’ll see on this golf course today is if someone punches me in the face.
Gosselin: Oh so you’re getting cute now eh Tiger?!
Lohan: Yea Tiger maybe if you spent more time working on you’re golf game instead of coming up with funny one liners you’d actually beat the 110th player in the world next time.
Woods: Okay that’s enough, I can’t stand the two of you anymore. I’m going home with my wife.
Lohan: What was his problem?
Gosselin: Ah he’s not cool enough to hang out with the two of us anyways.
Lohan: Hey look that waitress is clocking out from her shift let’s go talk to her.
Gosselin: Look’s like she’s meeting up with one of her girlfriends……….Come on Mike you can be the wing man.
Lohan: No way man this time you’re the wing man!!