D Lister Kathy Griffin having dinner with Michael Vick and Brett Favre.
Kathy: It’s nice to be here having dinner with you two big muscular athletes.
Favre: Ah…eh….ha..ha.
Vick: Kathy, we see that you are so cool with all them folks there at CNN, maybe you can pull a few strings and get us on there with Larry King.
Kathy: Well you know how it works boys, you rub my back and I’ll rub yours.
Favre: Ah right………. How about we order first and talk later……. Waiter?!
Vick: Yea that’s a good idea, Brett this is your favorite restaurant right?
Favre: Yep, the make the best Steaks.
Kathy: So all flirting aside, tell me guys why do you want to be on CNN anyways?
Vick: Well, we don’t know how many years we have left to play in the NFL ……..So, we got to keep our name in the news.
Kathy: Why? What will that do?
Favre: Well, it gives you opportunities to do stuff like book deals and TV shows.
Kathy: Ah I see, well let me make a few calls over the next little while…..
Vick: Thanks Kathy much appreciated.
Kathy: So, you’re retired now right Mike
Favre: No, I’m playing with the Eagles this year.
Kathy: Oh sorry, I haven’t really been keeping up…….. All I remember is you getting locked up because you ran that stupid operation……No offence, but I was thinking what an idiot!! Ha ha ha ha ha.
Vick: Kathy why don’t you…….
Favre: Ah….eh…..Mike is back now and he’s going to have a great year!
Kathy: And Mike, because you’ve been locked up so long maybe you need Kathy to make you feel all better……
Vick: I may have just got out of the slammer but I’m not that desperate!
Kathy: What did you say?!
Vick: You heard me!
Favre: Eh…Ah…..Mike was just making a joke….ha……ha.
Kathy: I’m a comedian and that was no joke. That was just a plain flat insult.
Vick: You’re a comedian?! You may be funny looking and be funny smelling but ain’t nothing funny about them words that come out of you’re mouth.
Kathy: I get it! You’re pissed off because I made that remark about you going to jail!
Favre: Ah…….Where’s our f@#king waiter?! Waiter!! Waiter!!
Vick: Yea, that and also because you don’t look anything like Jennifer Aniston!!
Kathy: They should’ve locked you up a lot longer!!..........I wouldn’t be interested in you anyways!! Besides I’m going out with a hot young 20 year old.
Vick: I pity that fool!!
Favre: Waiter!!
Kathy: I pity you two losers because once your football careers are over, you’re just going to be doing cheap late night infomercials.
Vick: Anything would beat having to spend late nights with you Kathy!
Kathy: That’s it I’m outta here!!
Vick: Go on get out of here!!
Kathy leaves restaurant
Vick: I sorta lost my appetite as well, let’s get out of here and hit up a fast food joint.
Favre: Alright man, it’s your call.
Waiter: Hey sorry about that, it’s crazy busy tonight how can I help you?
Favre: Service was terrible tonight, please inform the restaurant manager Philippe that I will not be returning ever again.
Waiter: Okay just wait I get Philippe.
Favre: No there’s no need we are leaving. Let’s go Mike.
Philippe: Brett, Brett wait!
Favre: Sorry Philippe but we had a very important dinner tonight and we just couldn’t get any service.
Philippe: So sorry to hear this Brett, how can we make this up to you?
Favre: There’s nothing you can do. I am never coming back here, that’s final.
Philippe: Please Brett let us make this up to you!.........How about we assign a special waiter to you next time you reserve a table?
Favre: Philippe, I said it’s final!…….Ah wait what did you just say?
Philippe: Brett what I said was that we will assign a special waiter who serves only you and your guests…….So next time you are in with your wife and kids or your friends give us a call and we will assign this waiter to serve you…….Plus, we will throw in a free dinner next visit.
Favre: Okay so see you next Friday then!
visit my website at www.sportscelebrityconversations.com
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Larry King with Chris Brown and his Lawyer Part 2
As if the first interview was not excruciating enough here is what would happen if they had a second interview.
LK: So we are back with Chris Brown.
CB: Hey Larry
Lawyer: Glad to be back.
LK: So what are we going to talk about today?
CB: Anything you want Larry
LK: Okay, so let’s talk about that night in the car with Rihanna, what happened?
CB: Larry you didn’t let me finish……We can talk about anything except that……..It’s just not appropriate.
LK: But when you called to come on the show you said you would talk about anything?
CB: Actually it was just to get some free publicity and get my name back on the news.
Lawyer: Ahh…..eh………What Chris meant to say was that he would like to use this opportunity to clear the air with his fans and make things right…..Ah….again.
LK: So you’re saying you want to use my show to just get your name back on the news?
CB: What? No? When did I say that?
LK: Just two seconds ago?
CB: I don’t remember saying that?
LK: Can we play the tape back for him?
Lawyer: Ah Larry that is not necessary.
LK: Alright so let’s just move on…………What do you want to talk about Chris?
CB: Well, I just want to say to all the fans out there that what happened was terrible and Chris Brown is truly sorry…….But that’s all in the past. Chris Brown is ready to move on now.
LK: What do you mean by that?
CB: Well, I have a new album out and I want to use this opportunity to encourage all the fans to get back on the Chris Brown bandwagon so we can have better sales results on this album.
Lawyer: What Chris is really trying to say is that he is moving on....... As is Rihanna……..They are both recording artist and they just want to continue with their successful careers.
LK: Ah right…….So Chris why would fans want to jump back on the Chris Brown bandwagon given what you did?
Chris: Well Larry……..All young kids make mistakes.
LK: So what did you learn from your mistake here.
Chris: Ah well………..Let’s see…………….Getting in trouble with the law creates a bad public image which could result in lower record sales which could be detrimental to one's career......
Lawyer: Ah Larry…….What Chris really meant to say is that he has learned the importance of being accountable for his actions and that any type of violence has repercussions.
LK: Okay, so you really just want to put everything in the past and have a clean slate moving forward……….So what would you say to all your fans?
CB: I just want to say I’m really sorry about what happened…………Also, please go out and buy the new Chris Brown album. As well, you can follow me on Twitter now and I can’t forget about the new and improved Chris Brown website at www……
LK: Sorry Chris to cut you off there……. But besides wanting to improve your public image and having a clean slate to rebuild your career what else can we talk about here as it relates to that night with Rihanna?
CB: Well Larry, I don’t remember a lot from that night………So why don’t we talk about the weather or sports……Did you hear? Michael Vick is back in the NFL?
LK: Chris, we are going to have to cut this interview short……….. Thanks for being on the show again…….Although your apology does not seem sincere, only time will tell. I wish you the best.
LK: So we are back with Chris Brown.
CB: Hey Larry
Lawyer: Glad to be back.
LK: So what are we going to talk about today?
CB: Anything you want Larry
LK: Okay, so let’s talk about that night in the car with Rihanna, what happened?
CB: Larry you didn’t let me finish……We can talk about anything except that……..It’s just not appropriate.
LK: But when you called to come on the show you said you would talk about anything?
CB: Actually it was just to get some free publicity and get my name back on the news.
Lawyer: Ahh…..eh………What Chris meant to say was that he would like to use this opportunity to clear the air with his fans and make things right…..Ah….again.
LK: So you’re saying you want to use my show to just get your name back on the news?
CB: What? No? When did I say that?
LK: Just two seconds ago?
CB: I don’t remember saying that?
LK: Can we play the tape back for him?
Lawyer: Ah Larry that is not necessary.
LK: Alright so let’s just move on…………What do you want to talk about Chris?
CB: Well, I just want to say to all the fans out there that what happened was terrible and Chris Brown is truly sorry…….But that’s all in the past. Chris Brown is ready to move on now.
LK: What do you mean by that?
CB: Well, I have a new album out and I want to use this opportunity to encourage all the fans to get back on the Chris Brown bandwagon so we can have better sales results on this album.
Lawyer: What Chris is really trying to say is that he is moving on....... As is Rihanna……..They are both recording artist and they just want to continue with their successful careers.
LK: Ah right…….So Chris why would fans want to jump back on the Chris Brown bandwagon given what you did?
Chris: Well Larry……..All young kids make mistakes.
LK: So what did you learn from your mistake here.
Chris: Ah well………..Let’s see…………….Getting in trouble with the law creates a bad public image which could result in lower record sales which could be detrimental to one's career......
Lawyer: Ah Larry…….What Chris really meant to say is that he has learned the importance of being accountable for his actions and that any type of violence has repercussions.
LK: Okay, so you really just want to put everything in the past and have a clean slate moving forward……….So what would you say to all your fans?
CB: I just want to say I’m really sorry about what happened…………Also, please go out and buy the new Chris Brown album. As well, you can follow me on Twitter now and I can’t forget about the new and improved Chris Brown website at www……
LK: Sorry Chris to cut you off there……. But besides wanting to improve your public image and having a clean slate to rebuild your career what else can we talk about here as it relates to that night with Rihanna?
CB: Well Larry, I don’t remember a lot from that night………So why don’t we talk about the weather or sports……Did you hear? Michael Vick is back in the NFL?
LK: Chris, we are going to have to cut this interview short……….. Thanks for being on the show again…….Although your apology does not seem sincere, only time will tell. I wish you the best.
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Tiger, Shaq and Phelps
Tiger, Shaq and Phelps
Tiger: I can see why you knocked out that Gosselin guy.
Shaq: Yea ha ha......Dude was about to hit on my cousin.
Phelps: Who’s this you guys are talking about?
Tiger: Ah nothing Mike. So you guys ready to shoot around of golf. Looks like a great day to golf!! Glad we’re out here on this great golf course!!
Shaq: So Phelps you’re gonna be okay to be race in a couple of weeks after that car accident?
Phelps: I’ll have those 10 pound anchors tied to both my arms and legs and still beat you.
Shaq: You see Tiger……………… Phelps and I like to talk up some friendly smack leading up to our swim race on my new reality show, Shaq Versus.
Tiger: Oh yea, that’s right how’s that going?
Shaq: It’s going well……
Phelps: Tiger, Shaq, watch this drive.
WHACK!!
Shaq: Wow, how far did that go? Like 30 yards or so? That’s almost as far as my 55 year aunt hits it…….
Phelps: Okay so it was a bad drive.
Shaq: I’m going to beat you today like you stole something Phelps.
Phelps: Maybe back in the 1930s when you were born that sort of practice was accepted, however, today that is just considered politically incorrect……..And Shaq, after I destroy you in the pool in a couple of weeks maybe we can have a real Shaq Versus challenge, where I compete against you in a free throw shooting competition.
Shaq: Oh sounds like you just upped the ante on our smack talk now.
Phelps: So Shaq how are we supposed to race in a couple of weeks when you haven’t even learned to tread water?
Shaq: Phelps, I’m not even going to answer that one………..Just watch and see how a real golfer does it?
WHACK!!
Tiger: Wow, I’m looking around and don’t see any real golfers out here…….Ha ha just messing with you guys.
Shaq: Okay okay so that was a bad drive.
Phelps: Yea it went into the pond…….I’d suggest you go in there and retrieve your ball but I’m afraid we’d need a lifeguard to be on duty.
Shaq: Well Phelps since you are so good at driving your SUV into things maybe you can drive it into the pond a few times so it splashes out all the water……That way I can retrieve my ball.
Phelps: Oh yea, or maybe I should just drive it into your big 370 pound mouth so you stop talking so much sh%t.
Shaq: Phelps, you must be high on something to be talking to me like that!!
Phelps: Don’t you ever bring up that……
Tiger: Guys guys just calm down………Remember what you guys said earlier? Friendly smack talk, right?
Tiger: Right?! Shaq?? Mike??
Shaq: Yea, Tiger is right…….My bad Phelps.
Phelps: It’s cool Shaq……….How about we just lay off the smack talk between us today then.
Shaq: Yea that’s cool with me………..But are you guys cool with talking some sh%t about Kobe?
Tiger: I can see why you knocked out that Gosselin guy.
Shaq: Yea ha ha......Dude was about to hit on my cousin.
Phelps: Who’s this you guys are talking about?
Tiger: Ah nothing Mike. So you guys ready to shoot around of golf. Looks like a great day to golf!! Glad we’re out here on this great golf course!!
Shaq: So Phelps you’re gonna be okay to be race in a couple of weeks after that car accident?
Phelps: I’ll have those 10 pound anchors tied to both my arms and legs and still beat you.
Shaq: You see Tiger……………… Phelps and I like to talk up some friendly smack leading up to our swim race on my new reality show, Shaq Versus.
Tiger: Oh yea, that’s right how’s that going?
Shaq: It’s going well……
Phelps: Tiger, Shaq, watch this drive.
WHACK!!
Shaq: Wow, how far did that go? Like 30 yards or so? That’s almost as far as my 55 year aunt hits it…….
Phelps: Okay so it was a bad drive.
Shaq: I’m going to beat you today like you stole something Phelps.
Phelps: Maybe back in the 1930s when you were born that sort of practice was accepted, however, today that is just considered politically incorrect……..And Shaq, after I destroy you in the pool in a couple of weeks maybe we can have a real Shaq Versus challenge, where I compete against you in a free throw shooting competition.
Shaq: Oh sounds like you just upped the ante on our smack talk now.
Phelps: So Shaq how are we supposed to race in a couple of weeks when you haven’t even learned to tread water?
Shaq: Phelps, I’m not even going to answer that one………..Just watch and see how a real golfer does it?
WHACK!!
Tiger: Wow, I’m looking around and don’t see any real golfers out here…….Ha ha just messing with you guys.
Shaq: Okay okay so that was a bad drive.
Phelps: Yea it went into the pond…….I’d suggest you go in there and retrieve your ball but I’m afraid we’d need a lifeguard to be on duty.
Shaq: Well Phelps since you are so good at driving your SUV into things maybe you can drive it into the pond a few times so it splashes out all the water……That way I can retrieve my ball.
Phelps: Oh yea, or maybe I should just drive it into your big 370 pound mouth so you stop talking so much sh%t.
Shaq: Phelps, you must be high on something to be talking to me like that!!
Phelps: Don’t you ever bring up that……
Tiger: Guys guys just calm down………Remember what you guys said earlier? Friendly smack talk, right?
Tiger: Right?! Shaq?? Mike??
Shaq: Yea, Tiger is right…….My bad Phelps.
Phelps: It’s cool Shaq……….How about we just lay off the smack talk between us today then.
Shaq: Yea that’s cool with me………..But are you guys cool with talking some sh%t about Kobe?
Monday, August 31, 2009
Jon Gosselin, Tiger Woods and Michael Lohan
Jon Gosselin and Michael Lohan hanging out with Tiger Woods on the Golf Course.
Gosselin: Wow that waitress over there has an amazing body!!
Lohan: Can’t argue with you there buddy.
Woods: Hey so you guys ready to golf?
Lohan: Yea Tiger!.......So Jon how’d you manage to get us an hour of Tiger Wood’s time here on the golf course?
Gosselin: Well when you are a big reality TV star that’s the perks you get…….
Woods: I guess the network felt bad about what happened when you hung out with Bosh and Shaq last time so they wanted to make it up to you.
Lohan: What?! Oh when you slipped and fell into the bar stool and got that nasty black eye?
Gosselin: Yea that’s right.
Woods: More like slipped and fell into a knuckle sandwich from Shaq.
Lohan: What?! Is this true?
Gosselin: Ah……..eh…….let’s do some golfing shall we?
Lohan: No way!! So it was Shaq who did that!!......Why didn’t you tell me, I would’ve……
Woods: You would’ve done what?
Lohan: Well, I would’ve defended my buddy here.
Woods: No offense what are YOU going to do against Shaq?
Lohan: Look Tiger, I know you’re in a bad mood because of what happened at the PGA Championship........ Which also was the last major of the year, but why don’t you……..
Gosselin: Hey guys guys…….Let’s just do some golfing now shall we.
Woods: Why would I be in a bad mood, I finished 2nd?!
Lohan: Well you finished second to the 150th ranked player in the world………
Woods: He was ranked 110th in the world. What’s your point?
Lohan: That means that you’re not even as good as the 110th player in the world.
Gosselin: Guys guys……..We’re here to golf not to argue.
Lohan: Oh me and Tiger weren’t arguing we were just have a loud discussion about matters that we don’t see eye to eye on.
Woods: Sure if you say so.
Gosselin: Alright so who’s first up? Why don’t you show us how it’s done Tiger?
Woods: Alright boys.
Whack!!
Gosselin: Wow that was great shot Tiger!! How far did you drive that?
Woods: Thanks man……That went about 320 yards!!
Lohan: If only…….
Woods: You were gonna say something Michael?
Lohan: Nah never mind.
Gosselin: Whoa look over there who’s that hot blondie?!
Lohan: Maybe she’s a fan of your show Jon, wave her over here!!
Woods: Guys calm down!! That’s my wife!!
Gosselin: So you think she is a fan of my show!
Woods: Again she’s my wife so lay off!!
Lohan: Oh no we’re not going to hit on your wife but maybe she has a hot cousin or single friends that would like to go out with two Hollywood Stars!
Gosselin: Yea beautiful women love Hollywood Stars!
Woods: Now please tell me who are the Stars that you are referring to?
Lohan: Jon and I of course!!
Woods: The only stars I’ll see on this golf course today is if someone punches me in the face.
Gosselin: Oh so you’re getting cute now eh Tiger?!
Lohan: Yea Tiger maybe if you spent more time working on you’re golf game instead of coming up with funny one liners you’d actually beat the 110th player in the world next time.
Woods: Okay that’s enough, I can’t stand the two of you anymore. I’m going home with my wife.
Lohan: What was his problem?
Gosselin: Ah he’s not cool enough to hang out with the two of us anyways.
Lohan: Hey look that waitress is clocking out from her shift let’s go talk to her.
Gosselin: Look’s like she’s meeting up with one of her girlfriends……….Come on Mike you can be the wing man.
Lohan: No way man this time you’re the wing man!!
Gosselin: Wow that waitress over there has an amazing body!!
Lohan: Can’t argue with you there buddy.
Woods: Hey so you guys ready to golf?
Lohan: Yea Tiger!.......So Jon how’d you manage to get us an hour of Tiger Wood’s time here on the golf course?
Gosselin: Well when you are a big reality TV star that’s the perks you get…….
Woods: I guess the network felt bad about what happened when you hung out with Bosh and Shaq last time so they wanted to make it up to you.
Lohan: What?! Oh when you slipped and fell into the bar stool and got that nasty black eye?
Gosselin: Yea that’s right.
Woods: More like slipped and fell into a knuckle sandwich from Shaq.
Lohan: What?! Is this true?
Gosselin: Ah……..eh…….let’s do some golfing shall we?
Lohan: No way!! So it was Shaq who did that!!......Why didn’t you tell me, I would’ve……
Woods: You would’ve done what?
Lohan: Well, I would’ve defended my buddy here.
Woods: No offense what are YOU going to do against Shaq?
Lohan: Look Tiger, I know you’re in a bad mood because of what happened at the PGA Championship........ Which also was the last major of the year, but why don’t you……..
Gosselin: Hey guys guys…….Let’s just do some golfing now shall we.
Woods: Why would I be in a bad mood, I finished 2nd?!
Lohan: Well you finished second to the 150th ranked player in the world………
Woods: He was ranked 110th in the world. What’s your point?
Lohan: That means that you’re not even as good as the 110th player in the world.
Gosselin: Guys guys……..We’re here to golf not to argue.
Lohan: Oh me and Tiger weren’t arguing we were just have a loud discussion about matters that we don’t see eye to eye on.
Woods: Sure if you say so.
Gosselin: Alright so who’s first up? Why don’t you show us how it’s done Tiger?
Woods: Alright boys.
Whack!!
Gosselin: Wow that was great shot Tiger!! How far did you drive that?
Woods: Thanks man……That went about 320 yards!!
Lohan: If only…….
Woods: You were gonna say something Michael?
Lohan: Nah never mind.
Gosselin: Whoa look over there who’s that hot blondie?!
Lohan: Maybe she’s a fan of your show Jon, wave her over here!!
Woods: Guys calm down!! That’s my wife!!
Gosselin: So you think she is a fan of my show!
Woods: Again she’s my wife so lay off!!
Lohan: Oh no we’re not going to hit on your wife but maybe she has a hot cousin or single friends that would like to go out with two Hollywood Stars!
Gosselin: Yea beautiful women love Hollywood Stars!
Woods: Now please tell me who are the Stars that you are referring to?
Lohan: Jon and I of course!!
Woods: The only stars I’ll see on this golf course today is if someone punches me in the face.
Gosselin: Oh so you’re getting cute now eh Tiger?!
Lohan: Yea Tiger maybe if you spent more time working on you’re golf game instead of coming up with funny one liners you’d actually beat the 110th player in the world next time.
Woods: Okay that’s enough, I can’t stand the two of you anymore. I’m going home with my wife.
Lohan: What was his problem?
Gosselin: Ah he’s not cool enough to hang out with the two of us anyways.
Lohan: Hey look that waitress is clocking out from her shift let’s go talk to her.
Gosselin: Look’s like she’s meeting up with one of her girlfriends……….Come on Mike you can be the wing man.
Lohan: No way man this time you’re the wing man!!
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Unlikely Trio
John Gosselin hanging out without Chris Bosh and Shaq.
Shaq: So John, I didn’t know that you were a big basketball fan……..
Bosh: Yea, thought you were more of a baseball fan…….So we’re a bit surprised that when your network gave you the chance to hang out with any two professional athletes, you picked us.
Gosselin: Guys are you kidding?!………Everyone knows basketball players get the most babes!
Shaq: Ha ha!
Bosh: So what’s up with your show now?
Gosselin: Oh we are back on the air…..Me and Kate take turns with our 8 kids…….Whoa, look at that hot blonde that just walked in!!
Bosh: Aren’t you engaged with that new girl now?
Gosselin: Dudes, that’s complicated……………….. But as I see it, I’m still a free agent so gotta keep the options open and play the field!!
Shaq: Ha ha, you’re a funny cat!
Gosselin: Guys wait here I’m going to talk to blondie over there.
Bosh: Wow, that guy’s got a bit of game.
Shaq: Yea looks like he’s getting a number……
Bosh: Yo Shaq, lemme ask you something…….. You want to be in my next You Tube Video?
Shaq: Guy, didn’t you play a used car salesman in one of your videos?
Bosh: Yea so?
Shaq: No offence, but I really don’t want to be no corny characters.
Bosh: But wait…….Didn’t you play a Genie in Kazzaam?
Shaq: Eh……Ah…….Well, that was a long time ago..........Besides I’m a big reality TV star now.
Bosh: So Shaq, you’re saying no?
Shaq: Pretty much.
Bosh: Wow, I could’ve asked Lebron or Dwade but I thought as a truce, I’d be nice and ask you but it’s obvious you don’t appreciate this opportunity.
Shaq: What opportunity?.......Look Chris don’t get bent out of shape, I have this big reality series starting up this summer, so I just don’t have time…….
Bosh: This reality series sounds more like it’s going to be a reality flop if you ask me!
Shaq: Man, don’t make me bust out the RuPaul jokes on you again!!
Bosh: Oh yea, then bring it on you 7 foot Genie!!
Gosselin: Dudes, dudes, I got that hot blondes’ phone number - Taking her out on a date this weekend!!……Hey, have you guys been arguing or something?
Bosh: Nah……We just had a bit of a misunderstanding that’s all.
Gosselin: Guys you should hang out with me and my best friend Michael Lohan sometimes. That dude is like my hero…….He’s as cool as Hugh Hefner, if not moreso.
Shaq: Why is that?
Gosselin: That guy gets all the hottest babes!....... Plus, he has been to jail…… So that would definitely make him cooler than Hefner!!
Bosh: Who’s Michael Lohan??
Gosselin: Can’t believe you don’t know who Michael Lohan is Chris!
Shaq: That’s Lindsay Lohan’s Dad……..Both me and her got Punked on the same episode……..Michael was able to beat the crap out of Ashton before I could.
Bosh: Ha ha. Yea, I remember seeing that episode on YouTube.
Gosselin: That’s pretty funny…..Wow, look at that hottie over there at the bar!!Shaq: Whoa, hold on one second there, she’s my cousin.
Gosselin: Her body is smoking hot!! And look at her….....
Shaq: Please don’t talk about anyone in my family like that!!
Gosselin: Because she’s you’re cousin maybe you can introduce us, Shaq?
Shaq: Did you hear what I just said, don’t talk about any of my family members like that!!
Gosselin: Hey, maybe she is a fan of my show! I got to go talk to her!
Shaq: I’m warning you if you go over there…….
Gosselin: I’ll be right back guys.
Shaq: Oh no you don’t
BAM BAM !! POW!!
Bosh: Whoa Shaq!! You just knocked out Jon Gosselin!!
Shaq: Octo-Dad had it coming to him!
Bosh: Ha ha Octo-Dad........Shaq, you come up with the best nicknames..........So what do you want to do until Octo-Dad regains consciousness?
Shaq: Hmm.......... What do I usually like to do to pass the time..........I know!! You want to talk some sh%t about Kobe?
Bosh: Ha ha….. Alright then, you can start first.
Shaq: So John, I didn’t know that you were a big basketball fan……..
Bosh: Yea, thought you were more of a baseball fan…….So we’re a bit surprised that when your network gave you the chance to hang out with any two professional athletes, you picked us.
Gosselin: Guys are you kidding?!………Everyone knows basketball players get the most babes!
Shaq: Ha ha!
Bosh: So what’s up with your show now?
Gosselin: Oh we are back on the air…..Me and Kate take turns with our 8 kids…….Whoa, look at that hot blonde that just walked in!!
Bosh: Aren’t you engaged with that new girl now?
Gosselin: Dudes, that’s complicated……………….. But as I see it, I’m still a free agent so gotta keep the options open and play the field!!
Shaq: Ha ha, you’re a funny cat!
Gosselin: Guys wait here I’m going to talk to blondie over there.
Bosh: Wow, that guy’s got a bit of game.
Shaq: Yea looks like he’s getting a number……
Bosh: Yo Shaq, lemme ask you something…….. You want to be in my next You Tube Video?
Shaq: Guy, didn’t you play a used car salesman in one of your videos?
Bosh: Yea so?
Shaq: No offence, but I really don’t want to be no corny characters.
Bosh: But wait…….Didn’t you play a Genie in Kazzaam?
Shaq: Eh……Ah…….Well, that was a long time ago..........Besides I’m a big reality TV star now.
Bosh: So Shaq, you’re saying no?
Shaq: Pretty much.
Bosh: Wow, I could’ve asked Lebron or Dwade but I thought as a truce, I’d be nice and ask you but it’s obvious you don’t appreciate this opportunity.
Shaq: What opportunity?.......Look Chris don’t get bent out of shape, I have this big reality series starting up this summer, so I just don’t have time…….
Bosh: This reality series sounds more like it’s going to be a reality flop if you ask me!
Shaq: Man, don’t make me bust out the RuPaul jokes on you again!!
Bosh: Oh yea, then bring it on you 7 foot Genie!!
Gosselin: Dudes, dudes, I got that hot blondes’ phone number - Taking her out on a date this weekend!!……Hey, have you guys been arguing or something?
Bosh: Nah……We just had a bit of a misunderstanding that’s all.
Gosselin: Guys you should hang out with me and my best friend Michael Lohan sometimes. That dude is like my hero…….He’s as cool as Hugh Hefner, if not moreso.
Shaq: Why is that?
Gosselin: That guy gets all the hottest babes!....... Plus, he has been to jail…… So that would definitely make him cooler than Hefner!!
Bosh: Who’s Michael Lohan??
Gosselin: Can’t believe you don’t know who Michael Lohan is Chris!
Shaq: That’s Lindsay Lohan’s Dad……..Both me and her got Punked on the same episode……..Michael was able to beat the crap out of Ashton before I could.
Bosh: Ha ha. Yea, I remember seeing that episode on YouTube.
Gosselin: That’s pretty funny…..Wow, look at that hottie over there at the bar!!Shaq: Whoa, hold on one second there, she’s my cousin.
Gosselin: Her body is smoking hot!! And look at her….....
Shaq: Please don’t talk about anyone in my family like that!!
Gosselin: Because she’s you’re cousin maybe you can introduce us, Shaq?
Shaq: Did you hear what I just said, don’t talk about any of my family members like that!!
Gosselin: Hey, maybe she is a fan of my show! I got to go talk to her!
Shaq: I’m warning you if you go over there…….
Gosselin: I’ll be right back guys.
Shaq: Oh no you don’t
BAM BAM !! POW!!
Bosh: Whoa Shaq!! You just knocked out Jon Gosselin!!
Shaq: Octo-Dad had it coming to him!
Bosh: Ha ha Octo-Dad........Shaq, you come up with the best nicknames..........So what do you want to do until Octo-Dad regains consciousness?
Shaq: Hmm.......... What do I usually like to do to pass the time..........I know!! You want to talk some sh%t about Kobe?
Bosh: Ha ha….. Alright then, you can start first.
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